Lose Weight and Save Your Soul: The Christian Diet

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(Satan's Journal) I decided to take advantage of this special deal (save your soul for $19.95) to try out an experiment. For the next week, I'm going to eat only Holy Communion, 24/7. I've been meaning to do this for awhile - the reason I haven't is that communion needs to be sanctified by a priest, and what priest is going to let Satan come in and partake of the Eucharist. Luckily, you can order this stuff ...

Religion and America’s Founding Fathers

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(Satan's Journal) There's a funny argument going on about the right to teach 'a biblical worldview' in Texas schools in conjunction with American history: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6640410.html. “You can't properly tell American history unless you teach the biblical motivations of the people who discovered the country, like Christopher Columbus; the people that settled it, like the Pilgrims and Puritans; the people who formed government, like the Founding Fathers,” said Marshall, a Presbyterian minister and president of the Massachusetts-based Peter Marshall Ministries. “My point in ...

God is responsible for 9-11

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(Satan's Journal) O.M.F.G. I just came across yet another website with a picture of the twin trade towers coming down and a blurry, ghostlike face (probably digitally enhanced) in the billowing smoke. Why in God's name does everybody blame me for the 9-11 terrorist attacks? Are you on crack? Are you mentally retarded? I mean I'm used to people blaming me for all the shit in their lives, all the 'evil', but come on! A bunch ...