Holy Blasphemy

GOD’S BLOG. Contrary to popular belief – I like Halloween. No, you won’t go to Hell for dressing up as something else, having a party or going around asking for candy. Now if your Halloween routine includes acts of vandalism, TeePeeing, etc, then you may be put on my ‘bad’ list for awhile. But in general, Halloween is fine.

After all – it’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not at all like Christmas or Easter which are really supposed to be religious. And you dry Europeans and Westerners kind of gave up the idea of Carnivale, which was awesome… dressing up is fun – so go ahead.

However, there’s one thing that really pisses me off; Halloween rose out of the superstition that on ‘All Hallow’s Night’ all the ghost’s and demons come out, so to blend in, and not get attacked by monsters, you should also dress up like something really scary. Ok, I know some people enjoy dressing up as something ‘evil’ a little more than they should – completely getting into the role of a bloodsucking vampire or monster or whatever terrible thing – but it’s all in good fun.

And I could even see people wanting to dress up like Superman or Spiderman; at least they’re tough guys who can fight and take care of themselves. And there’s nothing wrong with Sexy costumes, especially if they’re macabre or ghostly sexy, with lots of blood and eyeballs hanging out.

What I can’t understand is parents who dress their children up like cute little monster treats. Here it is, the night when all evil and horror is unleashed upon the world, when Satan himself is prowling around for lost souls, and you dress your kids up like a cute bunny, pumpkin or angel and set them out on the front porch. Do you want them to get eaten? Are you trying to sacrifice them so nobody will spray paint your windows?

I mean, you could at least dress them in black so they blend in a little, or paint their faces, or even give them little plastic weapons to fight off the little monsters. Sometimes you dress them up so much they can barely walk or move their arms! And they waddle around, in bright pink, yellow or green, as if they’re asking to be served up as appetizers. Shame on you.

By the way, can you guess what I want to be this year? It gets so hard to choose, after centuries of Halloweens, to come up with a good idea. I’m going to be a bag of grosseries. Get it? GROSSeries.  HAhahaha.