War on Christmas: a blasphemous ugly sweater giveaway contest!

Christmas isn’t a big deal here in Taiwan, so it’s hard to get “in the season” or riled up by this “War on Christmas” controversy. But I want to celebrate the meaning of Christmas by giving away two things I really want, rather than buying them for myself.

First up is this amazing Christmas “ugly-sweater” with Baphomet on it.

Next is this snazzy hoodie (that’s not even available outside of Taiwan but I’ll ship it to you). When  you zip it all the way up, you transfigure into Jesus. Then you can go around saying “Merry ME-MAS!”

jesus hoodie

These retail for about $80 each, so it’s a meaningful something that most people probably wouldn’t buy for themselves, but would love to wear – and I want someone cool to be out in the world wearing them.

How to win

Write a “War on Christmas” poem and put it in the comments. It can be a short limerick, a koan, a heroic couplet, a haiku, ballad, stanza or non-rhyming experimental. It doesn’t have to be long or very good. Funny or serious is up to you, just something about the whole “happy holidays” feud.

“Disqus” has an upvote function, so one winner will be the one that gets the most votes (popularity contest), the other I’ll choose based on effort/skill/style/content/how much I like it. If there are more than 50 entries I’ll give away three sweaters. (If several poems are exceptional, I may also give out some $25 Amazon giftcards for runner-up prizes).

Deadline = Dec. 17th

So it will possibly (but not definitely) ship in time for Christmas.

Thanks everyone, I posted the results here.