Holy Blasphemy

-Satan’s Journal-

Hi – Satan here. It’s been a while. I was kind of busy with little trivial stuff, work etc. Christmas came and went. I’ll bet a lot of you think I hate Christmas. Jesus Christ is born, he will later conquer me and restore righteousness, blah blah blah. No, Christmas to me is just another day – although the way you people celebrate confuses the hell out of me.

First off – God and I had our disagreement before the creation of the world (at least in some versions, and according to your definition of world). That was like, millions of years ago. And FYI, humans were celebrating the birth of a savior, a bringer of light, on December 25th LONG before Jesus showed up.

Christmas has NOTHING to do with Jesus Christ. The candles, the fir tree, the gift giving – are you serious!? The Attics used to cut down a fir tree, place a little suffering Attis doll on top, and bring it into the temple of the goddess every year. It symbolized, incidentally, a phallus (penis) impregnating the goddess and regenerating life on earth. And you still do it today!! What does Jesus have to do with a Christmas tree? Nothing. But it was a common pagan practice.

Oh sure, you go to church on Christmas Eve, but you sing about a child being born in a manger, who will someday defeat darkness and was visited by shepherds – these things were all said about other saviors – especially Horus, the Egyptian sun god. The birth of the sun on Dec. 25th, a huge pagan festival called Saturnalia, the mourning of the passing year (retired sun) and celebration of new life and a new year – these are sensible, meaningful rites. Thank you god for the seasons, for the sun, for food and crops. Nowadays you’ grown lazy; life is too easy for you, you take your food for granted. You don’t need to pray for the sun’s return, for a good harvest. You’re fat and lazy – this life isn’t that scary. Now you’re worried about the next life of all things. You want assurance that the next life, and even eternity will turn out alright. You’re not happy with just another year of existence, you want Heaven and Eternal Bliss. Spoiled pansies, all of you. So you celebrate, instead of the sun, a savior who will give you exactly what you want – but with absolutely no sacrifice on your part. And you use the same words, customs, practices and even the same DAY that the pagans already used for their own life celebrations.

And Jesus Christ, Santa Claus!? Father time (Saturn) combined with Apollo, the sun god riding his chariot through the sky each day, combined with the patriarchal God the Father – the old bearded man in heaven who is keeping tabs on whether you’ve been naughty or nice… Santa (an anagram for Satan by the way) is more real than you think. Oh, sure, you know he’s a myth now; but you’ll teach him to your children until their old enough that you can tell them the truth without breaking their hearts and replace him with virtually the same myth in grown up terms.

Anyway, whatever. It’s a time of fun, usually involving holiday and a lot of alcohol, so I’m totally down. I just think some of you have got your head in the sand about what you’re doing and why.